I attended funerals / masses all the time.
There were times when the elders got a whiff of what I did and then talk to me, telling me how I was putting myself in a "questionable" position by sharing
in a part of Babylon the Great. I would smile and walk away. One guy told me, "just think of what would happen if armageddon started while you were in that church for the funeral. . personally , it was more important for me to give support to the family of the one who died, I don't remember reading anywhere in the Bible when Jesus ignored someone in need because they did not believe everyhing that he taught.
And why make excuses ? Sometimes a little "hard love" is the best thing. If you tell the people at the funeral that xxxx decided not to come because of her religion,well xxxx will in time start to feel the effects of drawing a line in the sand regarding how she is treating people when they really could use some support.
Now since I am no longer a jw, I see this behavior as a way for them to feel superior toward all the other people who do not accept the wtbts as their savior